Category: Just musing……

Digging…….

It cannot be helped if words are your only refuge…….I have been lazing around since morning, trying hard to cope with the upheavals within. Just then I am reminded of the new saplings I bought from the nursery yesterday. I venture out in the balcony with my tools…..my gloves and the spade. Initially, I feel like backing out……..no…..this isn’t the right time of the day………I’m too late for the shower. I keep these voices at bay and go on……… Some planters need to be emptied…..there………I can see a plant rotting!!!!! Oh no!…….this is a whole day’s work!!!!

I try to back out yet again……….but my hands do not stop now. There is a feverish pitch……I am digging now with my hands….I need to uproot this one……the soil is contaminated with worms…….how could I not see this earlier???

Deep down its okay. I go on scooping palmful of soil………….Other planters too are taken care of…….the same way. I scoop out soil every time, even out the layers……place the new saplings carefully…….almost kissing them.

I’m overwhelmed….and I resolve to tell my ten year old once she is back from school what exactly the word “overwhelmed”  means………just yesterday I gave a curt reply and told her it means “too happy” ……….curt because she had left a mathematics problem to ask me this!!

I’m overwhelmed, at a little more ease with my voices…..they seem to have settled in the suburbs. Having swept and cleaned, I again and again admire my handiwork; the soul is so deeply enriched. Was that so easy?

All I had needed was scooping out after having dug deep, to make a new beginning even if there was rot.

DARK EYES…..

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They bespeak of

An empty heart

Her eyes;

Kohl-lined and vacant

An entire world they surmise……

They have been to edens

And pastures unknown…..

They have danced in the spring

And have brazen storms alone……..

Now they gaze abstractedly

At all that flutters by;

Kohl-lined eyes………..

Sometimes on fire;

Kohl-lined eyes…………

What power do they aspire?

“SIBLING LOVE”

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With increasing responsibilities and unending efforts to give and to be your best in all you do; certain revelations leave you spell bound in the midst of a hectic day……….

The more I look around…..and the closer I analyse people’s lives….I feel there is nothing in the world as gratifying as having siblings to fall back upon. A wave of gratitude sweeps over and I can’t thank enough……any amount of giving back would fall short against the gifts our parents gave us.

Quite often we complain…….that there isn’t time to communicate; yet the “how-are-you” echoes in the heart in the middle of a busy day. Days and months pass………yet even a very long interlude cannot take away the comfort felt on hearing…”how are you doing these days?”

Then there are so many memories to fall back upon………..the pranks, purposely tearing off the posters on the walls, conspiring to hide facts like poor grades, sultry afternoons, sneaking out for biking and stealthily returning, stealing pickles from the pantry while one kept guard( usually the younger one was adjudged this task)…….oh!….the list is endless.

The Sun still rises

And the moon still beckons

At night, the guava tree

In our backyard

Still lowers its head

When the breeze flows free

 

The terrace is still

All aglow…..

when moonlight adorns its pearls

That corner where we ducked in

To spend the entire night

To see how the morning unfurls……

 

That afternoon when you forced me

Dear brother,

To climb the mango tree

And how you never helped me descend;

It often comes back

How you laughed with glee……

 

The drinks we shared

And passed wicked smiles

When any of our mischief was unobserved

“We can do this again….”

Said the gleam in our eyes…….

 

The inward eye

Still watches you……..

I know you must feel the same

No matter what we do;

We cannot forget every little game……..

 

Only let me know

If the terrace still abounds

In memories of yesteryears…….

And the moon…….

Does it still hide behind the clouds

When under the open skies we slept………

 

Days and nights

Of togetherness

Are witness to the strong ties we share

No matter how unnerving the challenges,

I know we can dare………..

To keep alive the childhood glee……..